It's Time for "Score Hundreds"

I heard it again this morning, some commentator thought he'd be clever and call the current decade the "zeros." I've also heard "twenty hundreds," "oughts," "two-thousands," and "no-names" (very strange variation). I'd like to end the confusion and propose what I think is definitively *the* best name for this decade: the "score hundreds."

The whole thing might sound a little silly, but we need a solution before we move on to the "two-thousand teens." The problem really is that "nineteen hundreds" rolls of the tongue, but "twenty hundreds" stops you cold. Just doesn't work as a natural extension of our language or of the standards from previous centuries.

IMO, all the other contenders for the job have big problems that "score hundreds" solves.

"Twenty hundreds" is just plain wrong. It's sort of a childish attempt at consistency with the previous centuries, but it has no other place in our language so it sounds foreign to the ear. This one isn't even a contender; I rarely hear it used.

"Zeros" could refer to the first 10 years of any century, including the year 1 through 9 AD. Its lack of specificity is maddening and makes it sound just as stupid as "twenty hundreds." Besides, it won't stand the test of time. There is no way that 200 years from now you will be able to refer to this decade as the "zeros." No one will understand what the hell you're talking about.

"Oughts" is just as idiotic as "zeros," and has the additional silliness of sounding like something incomplete. When someone says, "oughts" I find myself waiting for another word or two... words that never come. And it is non-specific to boot -- so no dice, sonny.

I won't insult your intelligence by dealing with "no names" -- which is just someone's attempt to get attention.

That leaves "two thousands," which is the best one I've heard up until now. Unlike the rest of the terms, this one has the advantage of working with the rest of the century -- e.g. "two-thousand teens," or "two-thousand forties." However, that is exactly where "score hundreds" shows its greatest advantage.

I submit that "score forties" is a quicker, more natural sounding phrase than "two-thousand forties." Both are accurate, but my suggestion is faster and has a verbal kick to it. Besides, think of the pun possibilities of the word "score." "Good evening ladies and germs, and welcome to the 'score teens' -- or as Warren Jeffs calls it: '*my* kind of decade!'" ::rim shot please::

So that is my suggestion to deal with an oddity of a decade. Go with "score hundreds" and follow that up with "score teens," "score twenties," etc. Anything, as lonog as it isn't "oughts" or "zeros." Blech!

- Scott